Coping with loss...

In prior posts I mentioned some of the losses I went through in this past month. But it is still going on, and my question is will this stop, or is it just a part of my life right now? Do I want it to stay part of my future?

But how do other people experience such traumatic loss over a short period of time. Certainly it needs some form of counselling? Well that’s what I needed.

Currently we are working on assignments referring to loss, grief and bereavement.  Working on different stages in the loss cycle helped a lot in dealing with these sudden traumatic events. I must mention that to talk about these events and to process feelings and emotions helped me to adjust, but also to assist again in supporting family. This part of my life is a painful experience right now. But confrontation and rearrangement of priorities helps me to adjust and facilitate the processes that I’ve identified in counselling sessions.

Anyone can benefit from some sort of therapy some time in their life. It is not a matter of being weak or unstable, but rather wise. Counselling sessions is helping me to distinguish between important decisions that if have to make to move on, and to plan the future ahead.

I think that we have some sort of perception of life, and its processes before any traumatic event. We even function on these perceptions. We might want to call it an “Assumptive world” this world helps us to plan and set goals and behaviour. While this is still happening in a positive way for us we might even regard it as fair and safe. In recent events in my life, all of a sudden had all these assumptions shattered and my world nearly ended up in a chaos.... I experienced feeling of meaningless, frustration and I needed to consult a professional practitioner to help me to rearrange some of my priorities. She helped me to clarify my situation and to regain control beneficial to my life’s priorities and personal goals.

Throughout all of this it became clear that one needs someone to listen. Don’t try to handle these situations in isolation. I realized that I needed some form of social support from friends and family.

By compiling my assignments I recognized some of my own issues and I managed to read articles and additional information which assisted me a lot.

Understanding different treatment methods

After a lot of confusion and negativity regarding assignments, I can’t recall understanding the specific class on Narrative therapy. I will have to read through the Introduction. Upon this, done by Alice Morgan, it is my understanding that Narrative Therapy is a process of re-authoring or re-storying of events we experience daily.  According to Alice Morgan therapists that use Narrative therapy can divide stories into;

·         Events;

·         Linked in sequence;

·         Across time;

·         According to a plot;

For the stories to become meaningful the specific sequence must be determined over a period of time, and finding a way to make sense of it.

If we reflect upon previous classes regarding listening, relationship skills and Probing, the conclusion is that all of these form an integral part of therapy skills. If relationships do not develop, the patient will not have the confidence to share some of the important links, to events that may lead to effective treatment and proper diagnosis.

The class on defining trauma was interesting and, I was able to participate constructively during the discussions. I actually enjoyed the class and the way it was presented. The article written by Ilze Grobler, Re-defining self after limb loss: A psychological perspective was relevant and I could relate to its contents. The article had relevance to the specific class and it outcomes.

In the journal dated September 2008. The case of re-defining self after limb loss: A psychological perspective, Ilze Grobler used Narrative therapy in part of her approach. This opened up new options and possibilities to the patient and assisted him to arrange events in his life, to regain control. He could accept, let go, and move forward.

In the debriefing section, it became evident that the Orthotic and Prosthetic practitioner needs to be able to react quickly upon a potential traumatic situation. This, not necessarily alone, but as part of the rehabilitation team.  In these situations a quick reference and practical understanding of definitions such as Trauma, Post-traumatic stress disorder, association and dissociation and it different effects and symptoms.

Understanding developmental stages

Referring to the developmental stages of a patient, I’ve found it interesting that so much is initially effected by were a patient can be placed, developmental wise. I have actually never realized the extent that the practitioner’s level of development influences the treatment process.

It is my opinion that we as Orthotist Prosthetists do not really attend to these matters. We really have to shift our focus from a technical consultation to an investigating consultation resulting in a more outcome based session.

Development and the level thereof determine a great deal of the patient’s progression.   It is my opinion that we all grow through our learning process and encounters with patients.

In my understanding we as Orthotic and Prosthetic practitioners don’t realize that we, as part of the rehabilitation team, also have to function on a certain level of an understanding of the other professions. In this case the identification of different developmental stages, and the consequences in reality to their current state of well being is important.

As I mentioned in my assignment, I’ve realized that we, the practitioners also leave a lasting impression that persists long after the patient has suffered the loss of a limb, and it’s my understanding that the current stage of development will influence the acceptance thereof. The effectiveness of treatment on the other hand can be affected by the state of development of the Orthotist. These processes of development can vary and be revisited, depending upon the specific situation or personal experiences.

Dealing with situations by using probes and phrases

What a stressful time the past few weeks of my life have been....I had to deal with a suicide, death in the family and lost my best friend to cancer. If that was not enough, my dad suddenly fell ill with cancer too. His brother has also been diagnosed and there is nothing they can do for them.

I reflect upon the classes regarding the probing and I wished that my situation was better at that time, I miss understood the assignment and got such a poor mark. Although I used the examples that were given in our textbook, it was not enough.

I really feel that probing and utilizing the technique forms is an important part of a consultation. I really benefitted from going back to this assignment and tried to make some of the principles applicable to my daily consultation.

In business practice we compiled an assignment upon barrier of the communication process.  These topics aligned well with each other in the sense that all started working together. The communication barriers, probing phrases and questions work well together in the clinical setting. I think that correct probing will cancel a lot of the barriers, we as practitioners encounter.

I might add it helped me personally through this difficult time, asking questions and answering others.

Sometimes also a case of letting go

More personal this time .... after a long struggle, Sanet's cancer also go the best of me, and I realized that this relationship is going no where. Our inability to communicate and to move forward effected our lives and our relationship. After the amputation I suggested that we both undergo some treatment sessions, I started making arrangements, but left some of the final arrangements to her in order to let her make a decision upon when she is ready. It never happened.

The passed few weeks was hell for me, I'm enrolled in the B-tech, I'm selling my business and had to end a relationship of 4 years, through it all the sessions in our Phycology class actually helped me to realize that I too need to move on and that sometimes it is really a case of letting go. This time round I needed to make the decision more rapidly, every thing was effecting my studies and future decisions.

A friend suggested that I should set up a house in the woods close by and just brake away now and then for a day or even just a few hours. I must say I've done just that and it's done wonders for me.

Relating to the course, I must say that I;am stressed about the fact that one of our Icon's left the University, what even stressed me out more was the fact that the new guy lied to me. Everyone was phoned with their assignments and according to him upon telephonic conversation they didn't have my telephone numbers, funny that my number was available to the previous lecturer and didn't change for the passed 20 years? Makes me wonder?

That left at that, I hope that someone will start giving us feedback upon how we are doing. I for one have uncertainty about the status of how we are doing and if what we are doing is correct. Maybe more clarity regarding our practicals and what and when we need to start with that will also help.

A bit of negativity, but to move forward we need to be able to direct, without a certain amount of direction we can't go much more.

I must say on the other hand, I enjoy the classes, sometimes a bit long but otherwise acceptable.

In partnership

Reflecting upon prior posts it bacame clear that I also worked through a lot of letting go.

I experience the course insightful and exciting. Overall some of the principles I've already implemented in my own practice. Firstly business practice helped me to determine a proper time frame for manufacturing of a back brace.  Research is creating a sense of continuous improvement.

Pharmacology helps a lot in reading and understanding medication, above all the awareness of patient’s receiving different types of medication for various conditions.

After the Psychology assignment regarding Afrocentism and Ethnocentism I encountered a few of my Moslem patients and had a reference point for a good conversation. It became clear that they respected me for asking them permission to treat them and others even referred some of their family members after the encounter.

I realised that working through my own set of values the these things can change and be adopted towards the different situations that I so often find myself in - one of my greatest values is Support.

Therapists should realize that support does not end once the consultation is over. Eventually, professional; treatment will come to an end. Sometimes, because of costs or other influences, the treatment ends before it should. It is especially here were I've found that I, as part of a Christian community play a important role. I've referred people to different practitioners and community support groups and it was these referrals that showed a little more support and at the end assisted the individual to make it through a difficult time.

Through this journey I also hope to build a certain deeper understanding of helping.

That clammy coin ... don't be afraid !

"Don't be afraid" ....

Don't be afraid I thought but how? How will I show this "clammy coin" this bitterness, and all the disappointment I went through in my life to THE ONE and Only ONE that love me so much...well I knew that I had little to show and I was afraid to let it be seen....but I really think the it the response that made me exhausted, every time such a fearful response and as time went by and little by little I grew accustom to "Dare to let go" my hands started to open up and it started to force out those many fears. But be very patient with yourself until you can open your hands, hart your feelings so that it forms a gesture of receiving.

With me ... it's still a long spiritual journey of trust, for behind each fist most possibly another one will be hiding, and my thoughts are that this is an ongoing process, and endless one BUT so much has happened in our lives that made all those fists and at any hour of the day or night you might find your clenching your fists again out of fear, and we don't always now for or about what but we need to trust.

Maybe someone will tell you, "You have to forgive yourself." But that just isn't possible right now, what will be possible right now will be a slight opening of your hands, I for example have found that praying and conversation with God brought a spontaneous reaction of joy over me, it inspired even others around me to start recognizing these similar moments in their lives, moments of spontaneous peace, it in these moments that one realize that to pray is to live...

Maybe you’re in this position and you’d like some to pray with you well here follow an example that you can pray right now...

Dear God,

I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!

Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?

Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands

and discover that I am not what I own,

but what you want to give to me.

And what you want to give me is love-

unconditional love.

Amen

Maybe a question for meditation can help to loosen up the hands until my next post

What am I holding tightly in my clenched fist?